INTERNATIONALE PHILOSOPHIE
DEUTSCHLAND x GRIECHENLAND

DEUTSCHLAND 0
1 Leibnitz
2 I. Kant
3 Hegel
4 Schopenhauer
5 Schelling
6 Beckenbauer (obviously a bit of a surprise here)
7 Jaspers
8 Schlegel
9 Wittgenstein
10 Nietzsche
11 Heidegger

GRIECHENLAND 1
1 Plato
2 Epiktet
3 Aristoteles
4 Sophokles
5 Empedokles Von Acraga
6 Plotin
7 Epikur
8 Heraklit
9 Demokrit
10 Sokrates
11 Archimedes

GOAL:
Sokrates
REFEREE:
Kung-fu-tsze
LINESMEN:
St Augustine and St Thomas Aquinas
PITCH:
München Olympic Stadium

Well, they come up to you, like, and push you - shove you off the pavement, like. There's usually four or five of them.

Yeah, this used to be a nice neighbourhood before the old ladies started moving in. Nowadays some of us daren't even go down to the shops.

LA MARCHE FUTILE

I'm afraid my walk has become rather silly over these months, so it takes so long to get to the office.

Large Man with Dead Body: Who's that then?
The Dead Collector: I dunno, must be a king.
Large Man with Dead Body: Why?
The Dead Collector: He hasn't got shit all over him.